why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
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