What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Randomize
