my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
