I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
