Need sex. Gaining weight.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I just gift wrapped bread.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
