Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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