Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
