This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Randomize
