I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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