I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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