what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
