i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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