haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
