her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
