I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
