That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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