That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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