Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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