i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
