Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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