Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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