Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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