If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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