No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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