Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
How external is "for external use only"?
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
