i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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