Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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