Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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