I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Boobs are out for the taking
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Randomize
