Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Randomize
