wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
