he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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