Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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