well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
