is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
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