Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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