uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
