do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
