i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
