Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
We need to rekindle our bromance
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
