i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Terrible idea I love it
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
