Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
There r osticjed everywhere
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
