sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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