well you can't waste a boner
meet me or not, i'm out of control
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
