I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
don't judge my taste in strippers
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
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