ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
