so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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