i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
