Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Randomize
