There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
