I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
