I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I touched a dick in church today
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
