i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
